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Relationships Between Men & Women: What is “Fidelity”?

4 April 2009 4 Comments

My friend Cello is an immigrant from Nigeria.  She came to the USA 15 years ago with her husband to begin a new life in a place she truly believed had streets paved of gold.  What she found was a place without gold streets, but with tremendous opportunity- only for those willing to do tremendously hard work.

“Immigrants need to know how hard they will have to work!  There is no safety net here!” she says on the rough days.  On the good days, she looks proudly at the beautiful family she has raised, putting three children through private school, all the while working herself and pursuing a bachelors degree in chemical engineering with a minor in bio-science.  In several weeks she will be awarded that degree.  Amazing- especially since she has accomplished all in what is for her a second language! Her husband, too, has been highly successful in America, working in information technology management and assuming responsibility as the primary earner and support for the family.

Talking with Cello about cultural differences is often enlightening, and sometimes a hoot!  Last week, as a group of women were kvetching about their husbands’ infidelity and dissecting the influences of nature and nurture on their less than loyal characters, Cello shared this pearl of wisdom/instruction/life preparation by her mother in Nigeria:

“If you want a husband who is faithful only to you, cut off his b_lls and wear them on a string around your neck.”

It’s a wonderful world of cultures.  Ah, but where are the differences?


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